Hero's Guide to Turning Premium Hands into Toilet Paper: A masterclass in receiving the poker equivalent of a participation trophy. Started with the optimism of someone buying a lottery ticket, ended with the cold reality of folding 94o, T3o, 34d, and other hands that wouldn't win a game of Go Fish. Highlights include: folding 64h (because even garbage has standards), getting bluffed off KT on a paired board like a tourist at a magic show, and the grand finale - shoving 94c into J2c because apparently we were playing 'worst hand wins' and nobody told the opponent. The poker gods looked down and said 'Let's see how many ways we can spell FOLD.' Final result: Busted faster than a pinata at a kids' party, with more folds than origami class. Lessons learned: Sometimes the deck hates you more than your ex, and 94c is not, in fact, the nuts. Variance: Existed. Skill: Debatable. Entertainment value: Priceless (for everyone else watching).